And too much midget penis.....

So, I've been busy and stuff. 

Working.

I don't think it's entirely fair that work is all...making me work. Also? I'm moving. Out of Glasgow.

So my blog title is going to be kind of not applicable anymore. Only....I'll still be in Glasgow alot. So...I guess it could be Canadian periodically in Glasgow. 

I can't be assed changing the name. 

In other news...monkey took me down to the Lake District for part of my birthday present last weekend (it wasn't my birthday last weekend....I turned 23....again....at the end of February) and we stayed in this stunning hotel built in 1866 in Grange-Over-Sands. 

Our room was princess like...which suited me well as I have declared myself a princess...twice. 

My ex also declared me one....but I think he meant it in a more derogatory way. 

Like in a fuck-you kind of way. In my not so humble opinion....what a wank.

Luckily my monkey is charming and not a wank, and he took me to a place that had a CHOCOLATE SHOP. 

The dinner was absolutely stunning...5 courses (reasonably priced as well!) and the food...just....OMG. It was OMG food. I could probably describe it better if I really thought about it...but the drool keeps making the keyboard slippery. And also people are looking at me. Very strict on dresscode though. So bring nice clothes with you.

And then after we woke up in the princess bed, we went for a swim, and a hot-tub....and then I found muscles I had forgotten existed because SWIMMING KILLS YOU DEAD. It was a lovely start to the day.

After checking out we drove down to the town centre and walked around for a little bit....then hopped back in the car and drove to Cartmel. Which is where my new kingdom shall be. It is the home of sticky toffee pudding.

I'm not shitting you.

They INVENTED IT. Also, there was a cheese shop. We had the Brother David cheese and then bought it....because it was cheese...only as it turns out Monkey was only being polite to the nice man when he said it was nice....and I bought cheese he didn't like. Then made him a sandwich out of it. In the end it was OK though. It meant more cheese for me.

And there was also a basket shop. And we had a beautiful lunch in a pub (the Kings Arms) which served THE most nummy ale and onion soup. I think it was made out of ground-up fairy wings. It was that good. 

The Grange Hotel in Grange-Over-Sands

Tea and breakfast overlooking the town.....

Our room and my princess bed...it was very princess like.

View from our windows overlooking the town...you can almost see the chocolate shop from here.....

The sitting area across from our bed...or thrones as we declared them to be.

This bathtub was AMAZING...so deep. Drowning deep. Which is wonderful. 

This is the little pond down by the town centre that we sat beside for a bit...I fed birds...sausage roll...'cause that's how I roll.....

View of the sea from our bedroom window....

My princess bed! SO PRETTY.
And comfortable.

View of the sea and gardens from our room....stunning.

This was in Cartmel...the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH.

Yes, yes I did. OF COURSE.

 

This is the view over the bridge in Cartmel....lovely.

Cartmel Priory

Inside Cartmel Priory...it was founded by William Marshall.....AMAZING.

The outside of Cartmel Priory

Did you know that the skull and crossbones are NOT PIRATE related. When they were digging new graves and came across unmarked remains, they were required to keep the skull and two femur bones in the charnal house (or bone house)....the hourglass signifies a long life, if it's turned on it's side (such as in the case of a child) it means a young life lost.
I'm in my geekglory.

The intricate carvings in the pews inside the priory.

In Cartmel....what a beautiful little place.

THE HOME OF STICKY TOFFEE PUDDING!!!!!!!!!
I know.

The view over the Church Bridge going the other way....if we go back in the summer there are some really nice little areas to sit and have a meal/drink.

I'm almost too excited to even type straight.
It smelled like feet.
And had WALLS OF CHEESE.
Heaven.

So, after all that we were pretty tired on Sunday...but that night we had the Circus of Horrors to go to. The theatre was the best part...it was gorgeous.

King's Theatre - Glasgow

The circus part? Was OK. I wouldn't go again...just didn't find them of a very high quality as far as circus sideshows/freak shows go.

And there was a midget there who lifted his kilt...far too much. And did things with his midget bits that I don't think were doctor recommended. And also probably banned in a few countries.

It will take awhile to burn that from my mind.

A.good.long.while.